Category «Blog»

My face likes to Pee in Public

So by now, we all know I have anxiety issues… What you may not know, is one of my BIGGEST issues, triggers, whatever you call it.. Is being even remotely active in front of or around people.. The thought of this terrifies me for many reasons, but probably the primary reason is that I sweat… …

Rambling before bed

I know, that one day I will be OK. That is actually terrifying to me. Real talk? I have been broken for as long as I can remember, it is a HUGE part of who I am, I’ve built a life around managing my symptoms and finding ways to get by…. So who the hell …

Post Eval Update

So life is a little crazy at the mo’ and as a result this post is way late in the posting… BUT it’s been for the best reasons ever! Little V and Monkey are both 1 (well almost.. Monkey man’s bday bash is this Sat) I’ve got some serious ants in my pants cause I …

2 days to go

I have my final Eval with the RO on Wed… and my anxiety has been slowly increasing each day LOL I really wish they could have just done it all in one shot, or at least not had a long wait between dates..maybe it’s to try and stress me out so they can see how …

My scale is a jerk…

Oh yeah, I’m going there… my scale.. is a JERK man. OK OK I know that muscle weighs more than fat… and I also know that as a woman I can fluctuate about 10 lbs just from water retention.. But still…. been doing SO good lately, fighting the urges to binge, doing my best to …

PANIC and there is no disco

I recently had phase 1 of an evaluation at the Royal Ottawa. Phase 2 comes in August…. From there, who knows where I’ll end up or what course of treatment my doc will think is best… right now I don’t even know what I have for certain. Here’s what I know: I know that just …

Am I hungry?

Sounds weird… but sometimes I can’t tell. The urge to eat is so strong I have physical reactions that feel like hunger… Currently I just ate supper… I ate it 30 mins ago and it was a rather large portion… so why am I still hungry? *Insert lots of swear words and foot stomping*… *sigh* …

PHAT

So we all know I’m fat… or Phat… either way I am not a tiny person. In the past this blog has primarily been about showcasing my road to “thindome”, but you know what… I don’t think I will ever get there, and that’s OK. Here’s why. I’ve come to realize that the size of …

I deserve to be happy ;)

Hello again! Over the past week, I have been repeating a mantra to myself as often as I’ve needed it (…. Sooooooooo it pretty much runs on loop in the background of my mind 24/7 lol).. I tweaked it from the last blog post.. it is now : I deserve to be happy, I deserve …