Can I get a Woop Woop! Cause this Chickie is officially one step closer.
I will be on a calorie reduced diet for 1 week starting April 22nd, and then BAM 4 shakes a day! I have the diet profile so I’ve decided to slowly integrate it in the next 2 weeks anyway so 3 weeks of a low cal diet before my shakes.
I’ve gotta say, the more “real” this gets, the more I bounce back and forth between off the charts excited, and mind numbing fear lol.
I’m excited for the energy I’ll be gaining, the relief on my joints once some of the weight is off, the knowledge I’m going to gain to help me continue down this path to becoming a happier healthier Me, and hopefully, being able to shop in normal stores again!
What’s got me scared? Oooh you know, the hair loss, the possible gallstones, the excess skin which although I’m young and my skin Will shrink a bit on it’s own, I may be stuck with a skinner body that is equally revolting to myself in the mirror, will the weight loss bring about a whole new set of body issues to conquer? Oh and on a random note…because of my messed up past, what if guys actually find me attractive again? How the hell do I deal with that? I trust my guy friends not to rape me lol, but I still fear strangers, I realize consciously that I’ve used my weight as one giant cock-block. No one wants the fat chick (OK, OK there are some who do…. But in my experience it’s rare) so how do I deal with being “seen”, again? I don’t even have the safety of a wedding band to hide behind. Cue anxiety .
But all in all I must say I’m more excited than scared, I’m hopeful for a better life, a healthier body, and the ability to have fun again… Walk without tears, be able to play sports, attend functions without having to map out the fat friendly route, or come up with excuses to sit, leave early, or not even show up.
Life is about to get better, I just know it!!