Journey through my panic

Anxiety, doesn’t make sense… At least to me. Maybe once therapy kicks off (t minus 3.5 hours to go) I’ll start to see reason behind it… But from where I stand my brain is constantly in a struggle between what I know is logically true… And what my anxiety dictates my reality to be.

Today, while on my lunch break, I decided to go on Kraft’s website to search for some new healthy meal options for this week. My hubby and I want to try for healthy all week so we don’t feel so bad splurging on the weekend….. Sounds good to me! But when I logged into the website, I was blindsided by an anxiety attack.

It was fairly mild compared to what it can be… And so In decided to take advantage and document what I was feeling in order to be able to better describe my situation tonight with the therapist…. So if you care to see what a mild anxiety attack looks like to me, check out the image below.

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For those who know me.. Already you can see my writing style differs from normal me. It’s more rushed and harsh, not as pretty and flowy….. Each of those symptoms happened nearly at once, some starting later, some staying the whole time, others flaring up than ebbing away to be replaced by a new symptom… I currently have my white noise app plugged in full volume through my ear buds to block out office chatter , which is the only thing keeping me from having the talk flare my anxiety back up.

All I wanted to do was plan a healthy week of meals prior to my grocery run tonight….. How is that too much to ask for?

Hopefully therapy will give me some tools to work with SOON cause this shi drives me bananas.

On the plus side, I have made different photos from my mock wedding the background on my phone and work PC and its getting easier to see the beauty in the photo. *Happy Dance*

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