May I be Happy?

Phew! Finally a moment to sit down with my thoughts and blog it out. Tuesday night, I bit the bullet and went for my first session with Dr. Wendy Ryan, with Walk and Talk Ottawa¬†. To be honest, I nearly threw up in my car in the parking lot… nearly bailed at least 5 times, …

Journey through my panic

Anxiety, doesn’t make sense… At least to me. Maybe once therapy kicks off (t minus 3.5 hours to go) I’ll start to see reason behind it… But from where I stand my brain is constantly in a struggle between what I know is logically true… And what my anxiety dictates my reality to be. Today, …

I might be sort of married-ish?

OK… for those who know me in real life, this past weekend my love and I had a very early pre-wedding run through / engagement party / engagement photo shoot… Not everyone will understand the WHY behind what we did, or why we chose to do things the way we did… and not all of …

Stress Eating

Lately, I have been under a lot of stress, and as a result, I’ve been constantly hungry and grazing or nibbling, or all out just snacking / eating… whatever…. The end result is that I haven’t lost any weight (obviously) and in fact I have gained. To say that I am mad at myself would …

The Jitters

Off and on lately I’ve been feeling jittery… it is driving me absolutely insane. I did have a french vanilla cappuccino this morning (6:30 am)… but it has been over 12 hours, so I don’t think that could be what’s causing this ongoing anxiousness. I feel, like something is about to happen… OK so granted …

Strange times

I haven’t blogged in awhile. I could lie and say it’s simply because I’ve been busy (which would be half true as I have actually been busy)…. But mostly it is because I have no idea what to say right now. After my third attempt at Optifast, I’ve decided to stop trying to make myself …

Post-dress shopping…

Today I tried on wedding dresses for the first time (Check out the more wedding related post over at my wedding website HERE) and.. can I just say.. WOW. Leading up to this day, my anxiety levels were through the roof. I’d read so many horror stories, and I knew my own body issues would …

My struggle

There’s no use in my wishing I had a normal brain… I don’t. After this most recent episode, I think it’s about time I stop pretending that I can just go off my meds and be OK. I felt fine because I was ON my meds…. Sometimes I’m an idiot. For the past few weeks …