SO Looks like my love is now on the same train as I am lol. He’s always been supportive of me, but ever since he stepped on the scale this weekend he’s decided he also needs to take action before things get worse.
As a result I now have a partner-in-crime.. a team mate. It’s going to be awesome.
I’m trying to focus more on gradual changes and disciplining myself to make better choices right now. I’m trying not to focus on the number yet. So far I think I’m doing OK. This weekend I did have a “cheat day” which Mike has refered to as:
Freddy Mercury Fill up Fail Fridays lol. Though while cheating I made a concious effort to minimize the calories. I.E we went to this poutine place that is sheer heaven. It’s like subway for poutine.. Rather than load up oodles of high-fat/high-sodium meats on top of the cheesey goodness and gravy, I opted for green onion and tomatos with some sour cream. Granted looking back I should have not gotten the sour cream as I belive it was the full fat kind.. but I’m not going to kick my butt about it. Also I should have gotten a small.. The portion sizes were insane! I was able to eat it all easily, namely because I hadn’t eaten since about 10 AM (it was about 7 at this point I think?) and also my tummy is rather large :S but I shouldn’t have been able to eat all of that food. So next time, whenever that is, I will get a small. If I’m still hungry later perhaps I’ll make a smoothie or find some other light snack?
The point is, even when I’m cheating.. I’m trying my best to make better choices.
Also I resisted the urge to buy nacho chips again.. which were temptingly on sale! ARGH. The cravings are still there, and still strong and it’s killing me.. but so far I’ve been able to refuse! It sounds like such a silly thing, but it’s on my brain. I truly have an addiction. It’s one of the first things I think of when I wake up, and before every meal. The moment I think “what do I want to eat” or “What should I make for ____ insert meal here___” The first thought is always nachos.. yummy cheesy nachos loaded with veggies and cheese and sour cream and salsa and broiled in the oven and GAH.. Yep this is a constant torture I think of. Not sure when/if/how the cravings will ever go away. But I’ve been able to say no so far. Right now I think I’m going to use nachos as a reward (please let me know what you think).. If I reach my next goal, I’ll allow myself nachos for supper that one night. Maybe it’ll help me curb my cravings AND be a motivation to keep working towards goals. Is this a good idea, or am I tempting fates and just setting myself up for a relaps?
I do have wonderful friends though, without their support I would be drowning about now. I got over my anxiety enough to go out on Friday (was it friday.. or Saturday?)… It was on the weekend anyway. Went over to Drew and Jenn’s for supper and hung out then out for coffee afterwards to see the whole gang. It felt WONDERFUL. It was so nice to see everyone and laugh and just have a blast! Mike did go out the next night solo, simply because I wanted some down time. But at least I made it to one! I still felt some panic heading out but once I was there my breathing slowed and I was able to enjoy the whole night like a boss!
One step forward. Progress is happening, I can feel the change.. and I don’t know how to thank everyone enough for all their love and support. <3
P.S I’m excited at the possibility of CAMPING this summer!!! Something Mike said in passing and OMG it’s one of my most favorite things to do.. so I’m hoping it actually happens. I’ve been trying for 4 years to get him camping lol.