Alright so here’s the scoop. Since my last post I have managed to lose 2 lbs. It’s not a miracle, but it’s what I did, and I did it all by myself.

But that’s not the progress that I want to talk about. The progress is that (and I may be crazy) I think the pain in my legs is getting better <-- well sort of.. maybe lol. For those who know me, or follow the blog, you may remember that I get excruciating pain my calves and lower back when I walk for any length of time. At first I thought it was all simply because of A) my weight being hard on the joints and B) my calf muscle is too short for my leg. Now I'm realizing that (A) doesn't fully fit because my joints don't hurt (Granted sometimes they do, and that is purely from how heavy I am.. but in this case in particular my joints don't hurt at all when walking.. So out goes that theory) Which leaves me with B) my muscle is still too short. It's an issue I have had since I was a kid, and when I was a teen and wore high heels it made the problem worse (Ever wonder why I very rarely, if ever, wear heels.. that's why.).. So no I pretty much stick to flat shoes and stretching. Even with the stretching, which I only started doing again in the last few weeks, the pain was bad, I'm talking a full on constriction of both calves and any movement makes it feel as though the muscle is shredding itself to bits. Fun fact, this pain starts before I even walk past the parking lot.. so my whole walk from the parking lot to the building, and than through the building, is pure pain.... and being back to work full time now that means 5 days of muscle spasms and ripping pain and this happens twice a day. Such fun. Also I have to deal with people giving me dirty looks when I get on the elevator to go DOWN on the 2nd floor... oh how my anxiety loves that (Not). Basically I am fine once at my desk, but getting too and from my desk is a huge painful anxiety ridden experience that I have to do in order to work here. I started to do some research lately because I wasn't seeing any improvement in the pain even with daily stretches. The pain hurts like a mofo whenever I walk, and it goes away within moments of rest (by rest I mean sitting down and taking the pressure off my legs, not just stopping and waiting a min.. if I stop and wait, they just continue to spasm until I give up waiting and keep on truckin). I was hoping to find a new stretch or work out to help with the pain, and instead I found something somewhat scary. There is a condition called: Peripheral Arterial Disease (PAD) and Claudication. The long and the short of it is that typically presents as pain in your legs (usually calf muscles) while walking, that stops after a period of rest. Now, I don't have a lot of the other symptoms so there is a good chance it's just the short muscle issue.. but if it is this PAD thing, it means the pain is from my leg muscles starving for oxygen because the veins in my legs are narrowing and the blood circulation is not adequate to keep up with demand. As far as I can tell the best course of action is to walk.. like a butt load of walking.. you walk just until the pain starts, and than you sit down until it passes. Once it passes you get your butt right back up there and start walking just until it hurts.. Rinse and repeat. The site I found recommended a treadmill rather than outdoor walking as it's easier to find a place to rest if you're in your living room, rather than on a bike trail and have to endure the pain until you can find a bench or a rock etc, and in the winter you can't find either. So I'm looking into possible getting a treadmill... which is another added expense I can't afford... but if it means saving my legs from blood clots and the possibility that I die as a result of that, it's an expense I can't afford not to have. I have an appointment with the weight management clinic on Feb 2nd (heh my anniversary with Mike is that day), and we'll see what she says. There are tests they can run to determine if it is that, so I'm holding off on anything until I hear from her. The good thing is that I don't have ALL the symptoms. My legs aren't cool to the touch, I don't have sores that develop from nowhere and won't heal, I don't *think* I have bruises... I mean there's some mottling but it doesn't hurt so it could just be the way my skin looks LOL.. But I do have some of them.. My legs do randomly go numb at times, my calves do hurt when I walk and stop when I rest (and unlike a Charlie horse where your muscles are tender for a day or so after, my leg feels fine as soon as I rest and the muscle relaxes) So we shall see.. I may have this PAD thing, I may just have a shitty short muscle that needs extra stretching. Time will tell.. but in the mean time I have been doing my best to keep at the walking when/where possible and I THINK I can make it closer to the building before the pain really kicks in.. which I'm going to take as a sign of progress 😀

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