Random Thoughts

This journey, is about more than simple weight loss to me. I find every day I am changing, getting to know myself just a little bit better, and I think/hope I’m starting to figure things out. I’m not saying I have any idea as to what I’m doing, or if the things I’m doing are even the right things to do… but I’m working on it, and it feels right, so I’m going to keep going down this path.
I am starting to see the ways in which I’ve been changing, I’ve become more selfish.. which I always thought would be a horrible thing, but I’m starting to see it’s not. I think it’s important for everyone to be at least a little selfish from time to time. By giving so much of myself to everyone around me, I had nothing left to take care of me, and as a result, I did a really shitty job of caring for myself. I have started to think of myself more, what do I want, what do I need. Right now what I need and want are the same things! I both need and want to be happy, and healthy. I want to find balance in all my relationships, and organize my life. I want to take the time to make a spot for myself in this world… a place where I feel like I fit. Carve out my own little niche. And damn it I want all the hugs and love I can get :PI won’t lie, some days are still hard. I wake up and have no idea what I’m doing with my life.. I’m almost 30, not married, don’t own a house, and I’m still a temp. By the goals I set for myself as a kid, I’ve failed pretty hardcore at life… Some days I wish I could just go back in time and re-write history and change so many things and so many choices I made. Some days those “what if’s” overwhelm me and I feel like I may crush under the weight of all the things I regret, or miss. Some days it’s hard to smile, and look for the bright side, because some days it just feels like there isn’t one.But thanks to you, those days are getting less and less. They still happen.. and I still regret SO much of my life up to this point. But if I’d made different choices, maybe I wouldn’t be who I am today, maybe I wouldn’t know you.. Maybe I’d be even more miserable. Who’s to say what could have been.. all I know is what is right now. And I’m learning to be OK with that.What’s done is done… I can only fix the here and now, I can only shape my future. It’s a scary world out there, and I’ve carried my fat like armor for so long I don’t know how to let it go. But thanks to your support, and Optifast shakes and The Ottawa Weight Management Clinic, I’m learning. And that’s pretty awesome.Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you’re having a wonderful day! If you aren’t… try to find a bright side. There’s always one, I promise… but sometimes you’ll just have to look a little bit harder to find it.

Comments 3

  • I love reading your blog….it is a huge inspiration for me. Thank you for being you! And just remember, one day at a time! <3

  • I love the new look except I stumble on the comment place by trying to read another comment lol. It isn’t obvious or I’m blind of where to go to comment. Love you muchly.

  • Hey Mom 😀 If you click on the blog post, scroll down there’s a box to leave a reply, that’s where you comment 😀

    And Shari I heart you!!!

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