Slow and Steady

Oh hi there!!

So if you’re following along, you know that I’ve been on new meds for about 2 weeks now.. Up until today I was taking both my old meds and my new ones at full dose, this is the first week I start to taper off my old ones.

With that said I didn’t want to write anything until the pills were fully in effect…. But I’m caving and writing at the two week mark (these new meds take about 4 weeks to work at full capacity).

So what is the good, the bad, and the ugly? Well, let me tell you!

The Good!!… Wait no… I always like to end on a high note, so how about we flip the order?

The Ugly!!
Two weeks in and I occasionally have pretty strong bouts of nausea. This normally happens right after a meal and it sucks… But I’m OK with it because it seems to pass fairly quickly and I haven’t been sick..*knock wood* So really, not that gross!!

The Bad?
Well, these pills do have a risk of causing seizures, so I’m fairly worried about that… But so far so good, and I’m on the lowest dose so I’ve been told that it more than likely won’t happen.. I just have to be careful not to starve myself or purge my meals as apparently that causes a bad reaction to the pills… Note to self, ask Doc what to do if I get the flu or food poisoning? Eep!

The GOOD!!!
OK this is my favorite part!! I realize 2 weeks is too soon to tell, and part of me wonders if this is just my brain latching on to one thing my doc said and willing it into being… BUT.. My urges to binge and consume carbs 24/7 has been shrinking!!! I eat less at meal times, and twice in the last few days I’ve grabbed too much food / too big a portion, out of habit or eyes bigger than my stomach or whatever, and both times I stopped when I wasn’t hungry and left the rest for leftovers.

OK to you maybe that’s not a big deal… But to me?? I PUT FOOD BACK!!! I actually made a conscious choice to stop eating because I wasn’t hungry anymore, walked back into the kitchen, wrapped up the leftovers and went on with my day. ME!! The girl who just weeks ago would have kept eating just because it was there and I couldn’t stop myself… The girl who dreams about food and can’t deny her impulses to binge… ME I stopped way before I was even full. It’s a freaking miracle!!!

So join me in crossing all fingers, toes, and eyes in hoping this is the first sign that MAYBE my binge eating disorder was actually a by-product of my old meds… Or if not, that since these new meds tend to diminish apatite, that it will help curb my disorder to something manageable.

Either way, all I know is 2 weeks in and I’ve lost 2 lbs, managed to say no to food, haven’t had a single urge to binge, and it takes less for me to feel satisfied.

I really hope this is the start of a new trend and a new beginning on my journey!!!

Anxiety wise, well I’m still the same, maybe a touch worse…. But that too is a side effect of switching to these new meds, so I’m not going to say the pills aren’t working anxiety wise just yet. I was warned well in advance that these pills A) take longer to be at full strength and B) work on a different chemical in my brain… So it may be awhile before it works… And until then, it may make things worse before it can get better.

All this to say, I have high hopes and see so many bright spots right now!!! Don’t forget to keep everything crossed that these changes keep going in a good direction…

Buh-bye binging, please don’t come back!

Big hugs to you!!!

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