Swish Swish

Do you want to know what a good feeling is? A good feeling, is going grocery shopping and feeling your pants swish back and forth over your bottom because they are too baggy! Yep these are the same pair of pants I used to be too fat to wear.. and now they SWISH… The belly still needs work as it’s not super loose there, but apparently my butt/hips have gotten smaller. SWISH SWISH! Best feeling in the world Hands Down!
Also, I was able to fit into a shirt which is an XL… XL people… for serious!!! I’ve been in a 3XL for the last few years… 2XL shirts were pushing it.. and now I can fit my boobs into a regular XL. HOLY CRAP! I’m not saying I’ll be able to fit into ALL XL shirts, as annoyingly it all depends on the cut/style/designer whatever.. But it’s happened, which means if I keep going it’ll keep happening. And who knows, maybe I won’t have to buy clothes in a Plus section anymore. Wouldn’t that be so nice, to be able to go shopping in a normal store, and not feel like an elephant because the plus section is frighteningly small and filled with the worst styles known to man. Seriously, unless you plan on shelling out oodles of money (which I do not have) at Addition Elle, you’re stuck with maybe 2 racks of clothes to pick from, mostly floral, or tacky, or the cut is weird and it balloons in places you don’t, and is tight in places you are big. The world of Plus sized fashion seriously needs an overhaul. It’s better than it was, but I would not go as far as saying it’s great.
BUT maybe one day soon-ish I won’t have to worry about that anymore. Maybe I’ll get all excited about shopping trips with my girl friends. Ooooh Maybe I’ll even feel confident enough to go bathing suit shopping one day!
Either way, my pants were SWISHING and I can’t think of a better thing to feel right now. I wish I could find the words to properly express how much that one small thing meant to me. But it was like an affirmation that my work is actually producing results, that I didn’t imagine them… That it’s more proof to my crazy brain that I’m not worthless, and that I’m actually winning this battle so far. One small step, and all that. Maybe one day I’ll be OK enough that I won’t have to constantly point out to myself that I’m worth the effort I’m making. Maybe one day.

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