My heart is pretty much on the line with every post I write. I don’t hold back, I give you my all… and I just wanted to say thank you, to everyone, for the out-pouring of love I have received.
The internet can be a scary place… Trolls lurk everywhere, and *knock on wood* I haven’t seen any here. This blog, is my sanctuary… and I feel at peace when I write. I feel safe in baring my soul.. YOU’VE made me feel safe. That’s not something I’ve felt often in my life.
So thank you.
And while I’m baring my soul, for all to see… I love my boyfriend. I hope to be his wife someday. He has loved me at my worst… And I can’t wait to give him my best. He has held me while I cried, while I lashed out at him trying to get him to leave… He has somehow put up with the crazy moments, and has managed to bring me out of the darkness time and again. My past with guys, isn’t exactly great…. I don’t have much to draw on, or compare to… I’ve been raped, cheated on repeatedly, abused, demoralized, used, and all around treated like trash… I have no idea what “Normal” relationships are… and as a result, I am damaged… But who isn’t?
My boyfriend, see’s the good in me, when I don’t see it in myself. And he deserves far greater than I… But somehow I’m the one he loves. It makes my heart happy.
Some of you who know him, may not know the man I know.. Most people don’t take the time to get to know him. They see the goof, the sarcastic remarks.. the mask he wears. Sure that’s a part of him… but if you look deeper, there is SO much more. He is beautiful, inside and out. He is genuine, and sensitive, but still somehow one of the most “manly” men I’ve ever met… He would do anything for his friends, and he is loyal. Sure he’s a crotchety grump…. but he’s MY crotchety grump and I’m planning on keeping him for as long as he’ll have me. He hasn’t had the easiest of lives either, in some respects I think that gives him an upper hand in understanding me, I think it helps lol… And somehow, he took the shitstack of cards he was dealt, and built a REAL life for himself. He has overcome SO much… and every moment of every day I am proud to love him, to be a part of his life. OK so some moments I want to smack him upside the head for being a doofus… but you try living with someone for over 6 years and not have moments like that.. Ain’t gonna happen!
If you don’t know the real Mike… You’re missing out on a stellar human being. And frankly it’s your loss.
Also he’s got a nice ass 😉
So there you go, my heart once again on my sleeve for all to see. I can’t wait for my boyfriend to wake up, so that I can crawl into his arms and tell him I love him. Even 6 years later, that feeling hasn’t changed.
Anyway, that’s my sappy post quota for a while (maybe… Sometimes I’m a sap…), we celebrated his birthday last night with some wonderful people… and today I’ve been reflecting on love, and relationships… and I just wanted to put that out there.
Love, in it’s most honest form… is beautiful. And when someone can love you, the REAL you, nothing else can compare.