Am I hungry?

Sounds weird… but sometimes I can’t tell. The urge to eat is so strong I have physical reactions that feel like hunger… Currently I just ate supper… I ate it 30 mins ago and it was a rather large portion… so why am I still hungry? *Insert lots of swear words and foot stomping*… *sigh*

I’m giving it a while longer, and if still hungry I’ll drink more water (I’ve already had a litre)… and if STILL hungry I’ll have a snack.

But seriously? How the heck can you tell the difference between real hunger and made up mind hunger when to me they sometimes feel like the same thing… or maybe I just really AM hungry…. Ugh… Some days I miss Optifast… 4 packets a day and I don’t have to think about food.. it was a lot easier… but when I’m on Optifast I miss food. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t lol.

Today is definitely one of those days I’m missing Optifast…. and yes I realize it’s only because it’s been long enough since I was on them to forget how my body reacted the last two times I tried and the weakness and gnawing hunger and depression that ensued… Kind of like how people crave tattoos knowing it will hurt like a bitch… or crave having another baby knowing it means hours of labour pains and months of discomfort and puking and a gazillion other things that can happen.. sometimes when we want something, enough time from it we forget the bad stuff and only remember the good.

Just in my case I don’t get an adorable baby or an amazing piece of art… I get a bit thinner….. which all comes back (or mostly comes back) the second I’m back on food. ARGH.

Sorry having a weird moment.. I think because my appointment at the RO for my binge eating and anxiety is coming up… which is triggering both disorders LOL… Yay me?

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