So… as we’ve all established already, my body is the epitome of evil 😉
OK maybe not, but I’m PMS’ing (Yep I can admit it), and it’s making me overly emotional… also I’ve been under a lot of stress, and that too has been adding to the roller coaster that I currently feel as though I’m living on.
I feel like time is running out… which of course, it IS! LOL I go back to work full time on Jan 2nd… and no I haven’t put a countdown on it (yet)… i’m avoiding counting, it will make me panic more.
I LOVE my job… don’t get me wrong, I truly love data entry.. which I realize makes me a giant weirdo.. but sitting at a PC and typing all day is fun for me. I’m fast, I’m good at it, I know what I’m doing, and it doesn’t cause me insane amounts of anxiety like any other job where I have to actually deal with customers would. I LOVE just sitting behind a desk in a cubical and ignoring the whole world and simply making a pile of paper disappear… (Seriously, if y’all know of anyone who’s hiring full time, I will love you forever).
ANYWAY, as I said, I love my job.. but being a temp, I don’t exactly get holidays.. or sick days…. or benefits.. or really any perks other than a paycheck. I always have the end date of my contract looming over my head, and I’m always worried about my ability to pay bills and/or what the future holds. This time off from work has been a godsend in more ways than one. A) I was burning out and really needed a vacation… and B) My “To Do” list is a mile long and growing by the day… with no time off I had no idea how I’d get it all done… so yes this time off is like a giant heart hug that I’m loath to let go of. It doesn’t help that I’ve been working extra days here and there to help out because we’re swamped… or that I wasted SO MUCH TIME on a wedding for a “friend” who turned out to be a horrible person that broke my heart…. I just seem to keep focusing my time and energy on other people instead of myself.. and the end result is the frazzled wreck who’s blogging to you today.
My health has been failing lately… not in any scary way don’t worry!!!! Just… annoying things… my ankles have begun to give out again, I’m assuming from the 10 lbs I gained… I think I’ve pulled a muscle in my back and I’ve been in pain for a week now (varying degrees… every time I think it’s getting better I stupidly re-injure it because I don’t have time for that crap ARGH), I’ve been having asthma attacks, panic attacks, major anxiety that has made it hard to leave the house at times…. All in all, it’s been rough going lately. And I’m SO ready for the stress train to leave the station already.
Seriously, how do y’all manage stress? How do you “let it go”… I don’t even know what I’m stressed about right now other than the fact that I go back to work soon… and there’s nothing I can do about that LMAO. I also WANT to go back to work, as much as I love the time off, I’m craving the routine again…. I just wish it was somewhere permanent… and somewhere I was appreciated.
But that’s nether here nor there.. how the HECK do you manage stress? Seems to be a theme on my blog… still havne’t figured it out. I’ve tried meditating, I’ve tried retail therapy, I’ve tried getting out of the house more and seeing friends.. I’ve tried working out my frustrations… nothing comes CLOSE to easing my stress the way food does…. And I’m doing SO good at not binging so it’s pissing me off that nothing else I’m trying is working. All i want right now is a huge plate of nachos.. that would make everything feel so much better.
What I’m doing instead is blogging, than painting my nails so I can’t even try to eat or make food until they are dry LOL. I’m so frustrated at having to fight with my own damned brain. ARGH.
Anyway, any tips you have would be AWESOME!
Loads of hugs