I have officially made it past week 1….. ok so I have one more shake left, but I’ll be having it as soon as this post is over, so I’m still calling it official.
Looking back, this week was pretty brutal. Cravings through the roof, emotional roller coaster, less energy than I’m used to… it has taken everything in me to not cheat, to not pop over to mcdonalds or subway or frig even just a grocery store, on the way home to grab a bite in secret… no one would know, and then the cravings would go away, and my tummy would be full…. but I’d know.
So no cheating for this girl, 11 weeks left. I can do this… Yep, I totally got this. This is my believing face 😛
Part of me is worried that I’ll cave at some point. I mean just because I didn’t last time, doesn’t mean I’m guaranteed to stay strong this time around. But I have goals to look forward to, and I’m super hoping that after this round of shakes the doc will tell me that I’m no longer at risk because of my weight. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that I was fairly normal finally… Granted, I’ll never be “normal” I’m far too quirky for that… but I also don’t like knowing that I have health issues related to my weight that could be taking years off of my life. I don’t know about you, but I’m really looking forward to being that old lady chasing down youngsters in my electric scooter (complete with flags and handlebar tassels obviously). I want to grow old and grey with Mike by my side, and I don’t want to leave him along to face this world without me simple because I was too weak to stick to the plan and get healthy.
As long as I’m healthy, I don’t care if I get smaller or not… it’d be nice, and I’ll certainly try…. but my goal isn’t to be a super model… and it’s not to become as skinny as possible. My one and only goal, and I need to repeat this to myself often right now.. is that I am doing this for my health. I want to be OK. I want to watch all my pseudo nieces and nephew’s grow up and have babies of their own. I want to live as long as possible and enjoy watching Mike grow into his crotchety-ness.
So yeah, week 1 was brutal… and I’m not thinking week 2 will be a walk in the park either. But it is getting easier, at least hunger wise.. ketosis has kicked in if I’m not mistaken, and for that I am thankful.. I’m off to google ways to try and get your jaw to relax as I keep not noticing it tense up on me and it’s causing a head ache :S .. however right now that is the only ill side effect.. I haven’t even lost any hair yet!
Happy dances <3