To say I’m full of nerves right now would be an understatement. For anyone who knows me… a blog at 10:30 PM is a strange time for me to be writing. The reason being I’m awake by 5:20AM and I tend to be curled up and well on my way to dream land by 9:30. However tonight, is the last night I have before my diet officially starts, and I guess my body is taking that to mean “Hey let’s keep her awake all night so that she’s a zombie and irritable for her first meeting” Grrr.
I won’t post much, as I don’t really know what to say. I simply wanted to capture my nerves before the big day. I still have 1 week left of food (1500 cal a day diet) before I start my shakes…. so it’s not good-bye to food just yet, but every minute brings me that much closer to it!
Honestly though, I wish this week was over already. Some may find it strange.. but I think being on the shakes will be a huge relief. My biggest problem with food, is that I HAVE to have it. It’s not like cocaine where if I give it up, I’m actually doing a favor for my body in the long run… if I give up food, I’m anorexic and that is horrible for your health. But as much as I can’t give it up, I wish I could.. and at least the shakes will be almost as good. I won’t have to think anymore about what my next meal will be (beyond “Chocolate, or Vanilla”), and I won’t have to worry about whether or not my portion was too big or too small, or if I had enough veggies, or why I hate the fact that everything that my taste buds crave makes my butt bigger. I don’t have to obsess about food every minute of the day… and that is something I’m looking forward to. I just REALLY hope I enjoy the flavor of the shakes, because let’s face it…. if it tastes bad, it’s going to be a brutal 12 weeks. All in all, this time away from food will be good for me. It’ll give me the chance to re-set the clock on some old bad habits and help me break them, and then.. when I start to eat again, I’ll be doing it with a better knowledge of what not to do, and can take the time to form good life long lasting habits that help me maintain what will be my new awesome body.
OK OK, I might not be a super model at the end of the 26 weeks.. in fact I know I won’t be. But I’ll be well on my way to my goal of losing 165lbs and that is just plain AWESOME!
So here I am, the night before my first session, not fully certain what to expect from tomorrow, but kinda wishing I could skip everything else and just go to the hospital and get it over with. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever, and now it’s finally arrived!!!!
Wish me luck that I get really nice awesome people at my table. From what I’ve heard, the people you sit with on day 1, end up being a tight-knit group that you stay with the entire 26 weeks and they usually stay friends afterwards too. Here’s to meeting new people, and starting the next awesome chapter of my life!