Growing up I heard a lot of “no one will ever love you”, and “that’s not good enough”… I grew up believing that I never quiet measured up. I grew up with a father who had a particular temper, and he seemed to enjoy inflicting pain on me. It seemed to make him feel better when I’d cry, that is of course until later that night when guilt would come knocking and he’d always apologize… It is one of the main reasons apologies don’t mean much to me anymore, until the person’s actions reflect it.
I am afraid I have a confession to make. (And keep in mind I will also contradict myself probably multiple times, as emotion does not play well with logic)…Even to this day, I don’t actually believe there are any “Good” fathers. I see them on TV, I hear about them, my friends seem to love their dads…. But I still have a hard time believing it’s real.
Ready for the contradiction?
Most of my closest friends, are men… Some are even fathers now, and even more are well on the way to becoming fathers very soon. I can’t imagine them treating their daughters or sons like how I was treated… It’s only now seeing them, either prepare for fatherhood, or loving their first child, that I’m starting to imagine this ideal of a “Good dad” might be true. It makes my heart happy to see them so caring and patient and it gives me hope that maybe this world isn’t as dark as it’s always seemed to be.
The one thing I can’t stress enough, is please, whether it’s a boy or a girl… Remember the answer to the question “Where are you most beautiful”, the answer is always… “On the inside”.